i94bar1200x80

fringe festival

  • prison modifiedMen's bums. Do you like to look at them? I confess I'm not much of a fan. 

    Now, I realise that there are many among us who delight in sitting behind a slog of male cyclists, sweaty bums waggling like a slowly-moving Volkswagen traffic jam viewed from above.

    But these aren't Volksies, are they? No, these are the moist, lycra-clad arses of overly-obsessive sad thin men who are partaking of what I suspect is the twenty-fucking-seventh 'tour down under', held in the gormless, goofy town of Adelaide. 

    Yes, I know there are women cycling enthusiasts, but they exist in nothing like the abominable plague proportions in and around the time of the “Grand Prix of Adelaide cyclists”, The Tour Down Under. 

    So there I am. Engine running, parked in front of a bunch of damp-cracked men's bums in black lycra. Reminds me of the local river when it gets the blue-green algae and goes all sumpy. The more you see this horror before you, the bigger it seems to get. Posh champagne reflux, anyone?