The MacGuffins. Alison Breen photo.
Lachlan Colquhoun is a writer, editor, publisher, bass player and anarchistic ne'er-do-well. Adelaide expat cum Sydney-ite, currently with Sydney outfits The Flippin' Kick Outs and The MacGuffins.
You might not have heard of Lachlan Colquhoun. On the other hand, if you're an old fart sitting at home with the bowl of corn chips barely balanced on your belly while you suck a stubby through a straw, you might remember him from tumultuous, inebriated nights in the 1980s and ‘90s when Sydney was crowded with bands, possibility and sub-tropical steam, even more crowded with thirsty punters.
If you know the music world, essentially everyone in this country is a minor player. Why? Because it's Australia, and while we may think we're something special, overseas, no other bastard does. So, like Iva Davies or Daniel Johns or even that bloke from Men at Work, while between jobs which pay a fuck of a lot better than being a musician.
Lachlan was and is a minor player in the music world. And, like many of these folks, whether we admit it or not, without them ... there is no music world, no underground. Get this straight, “minor player” in the music is this writer's code for "invaluable partner".
When the 500-volume history of rock 'n' roll is finally written, Radio Free Alice and Witch Spit will be accorded their place in the queue, just as the likes of Stuart Coupe and Lachlan Colqhoun, Iva Davies, Daniel Johns and that bloke from Men at Work. All of these people have a back-history, they all have a commonality amongst their many differences.
This interview with Lachlan Colquhoun isn't a fraction of his work history in publishing, and here I can only hint at the breadth and depth of the Adelaide music scene over 40 years ago.
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I-94 Bar: How did the Flippin' Kick Outs come about, and evolve into what they are today?
Lachlan Colquhoun: It all started when I had a birthday party, quite a few years ago, and I got a scratch band together to play. Two of my friends are Tim Knuckey, best known now for his Hillbilly Rockabilly stylings in Satellite V (but ex-Wet Taxis), and Jon Adams, aka Jonny Gretsch from the Wasted Ones. Jon and I had played together in a band in Adelaide called One Horse Town in the 1980s, playing what was then called "psychobilly". Anyway, we played the party and it was fun.
Another old friend, Ripley Hood, got up and killer did a killer version of the Stooges' "Search and Destroy" with us. From there a couple of us decided to form a band playing some of the old "Nuggets" material that the Wet Taxis had played, some Beefheart and a bit of Bo Diddley. That was when we were the Flipped-Out Kicks.
Tim left in 2019 or so, and because the rest of us wanted to keep going we tweaked the name, kept playing, and started writing more original music. By that time we had added Simon Wale on drums (in my opinion Sydney’s best drummer) combining power and finesse. So under our current name we’ve done two albums …and are still playing.
The Flippin Kick-Outs live. Band supplied.
I-94 Bar: Whatever happened to the huge Sydney rock 'n' roll audience? Are they all in nursing homes?
Lachlan Colquhoun: That is a key issue. They're either in nursing homes or are at home, eating takeaway and watching Netflix. It’s not just the audience, it’s also a lack of places to play.
I’m writing this only days after we learned that the MoshPit, one of our go-to venues, is closing down. I’d be depressed if I thought about it for too long because it is a shadow of the Sydney scene I knew. I almost cry every time I drive past the Hopetoun in Surry Hills.
But that doesn’t stop a dedicated core of people who keep playing because they love it, and despite rumours to the contrary there are still lots of great gigs happening.
I-94 Bar: Recently I had an interesting conversation with noted power-pop aficionado (and record maker) Dave Laing, in which we had a genial discussion about "power pop". Curious as to whether you agree with him about his definition about power pop.
Lachlan Colquhoun: It’s a fine line and fun to argue about. I don’t 100 percent agree with him. I wouldn’t call Radio Birdman power pop but there are definitely elements of it in the Ramones, who are also one of the greatest punk bands ever.
When I think of power pop and look around the current scene in Sydney I think of The On and Ons and up in Newcastle, the Autumn Hearts are also great exponents. I think of power pop as having big open chord choruses with nice harmonies, hooks galore, romantic and a little poetic and also a bit of retro-homage in there. Some sweetness amongst the grunge. But let the discussion continue...
I-94 Bar: And, notwithstanding the band's description on Bandcamp ("homage to what has come before but seek a way forward") are the Flippin' Kick Outs a power pop band? A garage band?
Lachlan Colquhoun: We are a rocking band! I wouldn’t say we are power pop. Our influences are '60s garage and psychedelic with some more straight-up rock ‘n’ roll. Jon and I used to go and see Dr Feelgood a lot when they toured here and some of our originals pay homage to them. We like it fast, loud and as wild as we can make it.
One song I love is “Bomber” by Motorhead, and in some of what we do we are seeking to achieve some of that. Is that speed metal? We seek power without the pop, which we leave to others better qualified. It’s not the only genre I play in though. You could check out the MacGuffins album "Dial M for MacGuffin" on Bandcamp, where I’m going for something different …we call it “glam punk”. I like to think of that as a new genre.
I-94 Bar: You've written two songs using motorbike-as-relationship imagery - so what bikes do you have? Details, please!
Lachlan Colquhoun: Yes, I've had a long succession of bikes, beginning with an ex-Post Office Vespa when I was 17. Right now I sadly have only one bike, a 1974 Laverda SF750. A magnificent piece of kit, classic Italian grand tourer. We recorded it revving for our song 'Parallel Twin' on our first album. I recently sold a 1974 Ducati 450 Desmo, so you can see I’m into '70s era classic sports bikes. When I’m rich I’ll buy more, living by the motto "to die young at an advanced age".
They are temperamental but I do like old British bikes. I’ve had a few BSA A65s, like Hunter S. Thompson had when he rode with the Hells Angels, and would love another one. I went on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" a few years ago and nearly won the money, and when I was looking good Eddie McGuire asked me what I’d spend it on and I said I’d buy a Norton Commando. Unfortunately that hasn’t happened yet.
I-94 Bar: You started out in journalism and music in Adelaide. Could you tell us a little about that time, and how you came to end up in a far more expensive city?
Lachlan Colquhoun: Music and journalism have been constant in my life ever since I started my cadetship on the Adelaide Advertiser back in 1981. These were still the good days for newspapers, and it was before Rupert Murdoch owned the 'Tiser. I chased ambulances, police cars and fire engines, reported on courts and parliament and basically ran amok. It was all great fun. But at the same time I was playing in bands, and Adelaide had a great scene back in the early '80s.
In those punk days I used to go and see the Laughing Clowns a lot, they were brilliant in their many incarnations. But one of the best gigs of that era was Magazine and XTC in 1980. Barry Adamson was playing bass for Magazine and he really inspired me.
I loved the way Tracy Pew played, he was a real innovator in the way the bass sat, and he had a unique sound. We supported the Birthday Party back in 1981, sharing the tiny band room at The Tivoli in Adelaide.
I always loved music and wanted to play but was convinced I was shit, and I may still be, but one day I was hanging around with my friend who is a great guitar player. He was playing and there was another guitar in the corner of the room, which only had four strings, so he told me to pick it up and play bass and he would teach me. It was the start of so many good times, great friendships and experiences.
The Iguana Twins shot by Paul Lakatos.
We had a band called The Lounge for a while, and then I went on to play in Speedboat, The Iguana Twins and then Ugly Ugly Ugly. Also a hilarious Ancient Rome-themed band called The Purple Caesars, where we dressed in togas and sang about Caligula and Tiberius.
I mentioned Ripley Hood earlier; we played together in a band called Halo, and then had a long-running recording project called The Lovely Assistants, which was a joke on the fact that we were all ugly middle-aged men.
But those guys never wanted to play live and I did, so I’m glad I’m back in gigging bands 'cos I love performing. Why did I come to Sydney? It was for love really. I fell in love with Alison when we were working at the ABC in Adelaide; she'd lived in Sydney and wanted to go back. So I followed her in the '90s... and we are still together, living in Sydney, all these years and two kids later.
I-94 Bar: What was the first music you heard which made you sit up and decide: I gotta make music? How old were you?
Lachlan Colquhoun: When I was eight or nine we always used to go and visit my grandfather, who was living in the sleepout at my aunt’s place. While the adults would drink longnecks of beer, I would go through the record collection left by my older cousins, and loved the single of "A Hard Day’s Night". I think "Things We Said Today" was the B side. I thrashed that single. Then bought a copy of "Sergeant Pepper" when my family got their first record player, about 1971 or so.
It was the days of AM radio and T. Rex was huge for me. I loved "Telegram Sam". Then when I was a teenager I discovered Cream and Led Zeppelin. With my friend – the one who taught me how to play bass – we were blown away by the "Super Session" film with Led Zeppelin playing "Dazed and Confused", where Jimmy Page played with the violin bow. The first concert I saw was the "Masters of British Rock" tour in 1974 at the Memorial Drive Tennis Courts, the bill was Status Quo, Black Sabbath and the Kevin Borich Express.
A group of us got off school early and went to see Billy Thorpe and the Aztecs with Lobby Lloyd’s Coloured Balls. So loud! Then I saw Jeff Beck during his "Blow by Blow" days. Around this time I also discovered early Pink Floyd, the Syd Barrett era, and particularly loved "Arnold Layne" and "See Emily Play".
But it all changed around 1976 when I saw the Sex Pistols and The Saints on television, I think it was Donny Sutherland’s "Sounds Unlimited" He really had some broad taste, for which I thank him. I remember being with the kids of my parent’s friends and "Anarchy in the UK" came on. They were appalled and hated it. My jaw dropped and my life changed immediately. Pretty soon after that I saw the clip of "I’m Stranded" and was blown away. This was the late '70s or so and although I was still underage I remember – I think – sneaking into a Scientists gig and experiencing the power of the live performance [in 1979]. It was all fantastic!
I-94 Bar: You're returning to Adelaide this August with The MacGuffins. How did that band come about?
Lachlan Colquhoun: The MacGuffins is a project conceived with an old school friend, Stephen Smooker. Have known him for years, since Year 10 in 1976, but we'd never played music together. We had dinner and drank lots of wine and he said he had some tunes he'd written he'd like some help with, so of course I said yes 'cos I never say no to anything.
So we started playing, and it was fun and I had a couple of things I'd written which didn't really fit the Flippin' Kick Outs ... so all a sudden we had the beginning of an all-original set. Different from my other bands ... more indie? We laughed and said it was garage punk.
Recruited Colin Varney who I'd played with in Ugly Ugly Ugly in Adelaide, who was then living in Sydney. (Colin also plays with Les Goolies) And another Adelaide friend living in Sydney, Tom Morton. So pretty soon we had a set of originals and took to the stage...and did our album "Dial M for MacGuffin".
I-94 Bar: It's worth republishing the MacGuffins' blurb on Bandcamp - it's a perfect example of the meaning of the term:
Mild-mannered newshound, Lachlan, chances upon Stephen, a dying musicologist. Stephen entrusts him with the identities of two individuals who each possess part of a formula for the perfect rock band. Lachlan finds himself targeted by agents of Evil Machinations Incorporated and the sinister Rock Commodification Authority, both of whom will kill to secure the secret. Surviving a stabbing in the shower by an assassin from Sounds Organised by Neo-conservative Yesmen, Lachlan knows the only way he can protect himself is to locate what everyone is after.
The chase is on!
He tracks down reclusive academic, Tom, who claims no knowledge of the formula. After being pursued through a barren field by a crop-duster, Tom joins forces with Lachlan to locate introverted children’s television scripter, Colin. He also professes ignorance of the secret.
Stephen makes a surprise reappearance. Turns out he faked his own death to flee a shonky song-sharking venture. Discovering they are musicians bonded by a commitment to glam-punk, psychedelia and Shakespearean go-go, they rehearse until they are tighter than a Hitchcockian subplot. They front the moshpits and dives of Sydney. Experiencing the ecstatic reaction to tunes influenced by spaghetti westerns, spy themes and skewed country, they realise they have found the formula.
The MacGuffin is the band. The band is The MacGuffins.
The MacGuffins play Adelaide this August. Saturday August 8 at the Exeter and Sunday August 9 (afternoon show) at the Wheatsheaf. I'll be there at both gigs, but don't let that put you off. Bring yer dancing Crocs.
