TOP TEN CIRCLES OF HELL FOR 2021
1:The circle of passive rebellion where the damned must battle eternally painful loopholes.
Reserved for DICKNOSERS, CHINWAGGERS, NECKBREAKERS and EAR RINGERS. A mask is a simple thing. You just embarrass yourself by failing to wear it correctly. Special shout out to dickheads who punch a hole in their masks to smoke cigarettes.
2: The circle of deep regret where the damned spread disease to their loved ones before spending eternity intubated.
Reserved for Antivaxers. Vax up or shut up you medieval floor lickers.
3. The circle of reversal where those who descriminate are forced to spend eternity in the body of those they descriminate against.
Reserved for Nazis, QAnons, Proud Boys and related fucktards. I know. This circle sounds like an episode of “The Twilight Zone” but... Fuck those guys.
4. The Circle of Starvation where the damned are chained to a rock and given nothing to eat or drink or breathe. Forever.
Reserved for Crooked politicians who do dodgy deals for the benefit of themselves (and their boyfriends). Oddly, people keep voting for crooks. If we can't punish them in this life, surely the next.
5. The Circle of “Lost in Space”, where the damned are left to float in the great void between galaxies only accompanied by their monstrous sense of self worth.
Reserved for Billionaires (and particularly those who have their own spaceship). No-one need shed a tear.
6. The circle of endless menial tasks, where the damned struggle to find an unlocked lavatory.
Reserved for those fat lazy bastards who do not hold a hose. No access will be granted to fast food restaurants.
7. The circle of endless drizzle where the damned endure an unending stream of human excrement.Reserved for right wing television, radio, newspaper pundits.Hey. They spew the shit, they can eat the shit.
8. The circle of eternal darkness where no mirror reflects and no sound is heard and the only colour is vantablack.
Reserved for celebrities famous for being celebraties.If they're really stars they can sort out something.
9. The circle of the Itsy Bitsy Yellow Polka Dot Bikini where said 45rpm single is played on endless repeat on a Dansette record player.
Reserved for Triple Jay radio hosts.God. You've heard the shit they play. My only fear is that they might enjoy the experience.
10. The circle of delusion where the damned squat with one of Paltrow's vagina candles lit and deeply inserted into their anusses.
Reserved for anyone who things washing in bottled water is somehow a sensible beauty treatmentObviously, I couldn't think of a decent tenth circle. Even Dante stuck to nine.
