Monks in Sexyland – The Owen Guns (Booker/Bastard Records)

Is it an EP, a mini-album or a long player from a bunch of minimalists? “Monks in Sexyland” clocks in at just eight songs over 13 minutes but who cares what tag you give it. It’s a burst of good old school punk rock Fun with a capital ‘F’.

If you’re wondering about the title, speculate no more. The I-94 Bar does the hard re3search so you don’t have to. An Australian monk by the name of Venerable Chhet went to court two years ago in a bid to stop A Current Affair airing a TV story about the alleged use of a church credit card at a chain of sex stores.

Kid Congo & The Pink Monkey Birds are returning to Australia in April 2024.

Kid Congo has one of the most enviable rock n’ roll resumes in existence. He was a founding member of cowpunk blues outfit The Gun Club, guitarist for legendary psycho-billy purveyors The Cramps, and played with Australia’s own, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds.

Punk Under The Sun: Punk & New Wave in South Florida 
By Joey Seeman and Chris Potash
Hozac Books

I was never really drawn to Florida like so many of my ex-friends and former peers, I always called it "Ohio South" cause you know it's all the same insufferable tv brainwashed right wingers from Ohio who seem to migrate there.

Never liked Marilyn Manson or Disneyland all that much, or even Jimmy Buffet yeehaw beach culture, but weirdly a lot of musicians from all my favorite Murkkkan bands have Floridian roots.

Probably my fave band besides Generation X,Pretenders, and Beasts Of Bourbon was basically born there before relocating to Hollywood: a band called the Coma-Tones, who were, according to my famous old amigo the Sleazegrinder: "Like Jim Morrison singing for Guns N Roses". The vocalist Gio was approximately as excellent as Texacala Jones or early Tex Perkins, the guitar player Jimmy James went on to play for Junkyard and the Hangmen, and he's featured in the book. 

Resurrected – SSD (self released)

Based out of Hervey Bay in Queensland, SSD played every bar they could fine in the 1980s. They toured constantly, playing a mix of covers and some originals until way too much alcohol - and life - got in the way. So they decided to call time on the band…but not their friendship.

Fast-forward to 2023: SSD’s former members all found themselves living in good old Melbourne town - so why not record those originals that were written so long ago? Thank fuck they did because this six pack of tunes is a blast from start to finish.

Exile in Warsaw: All Down The Line – Pat Todd and The Rankoutsiders b/w Rip This Joint – Guerilla Teens (Heavy Medication Records)

From a selfish perspective, this is canny timing. The Stones have a formidable new album out and Pat Todd is embarking on a solo tour of Australia. If you’re a regular I-94 Barfly you’ll know that anything with the band moniker “Rankoutsiders” on it rocks like a motherfucker and this split 45 on Poland’s greatest rock and roll label (hence its title) is more proof.

Pat’s beefy delivery isn't close to a Jagger drawl but sits just right regardless, doing justice to the loose and limber original. The guitar pairing of Nick Alexander and Kevin Keller live up to the Taylor-Richards combo that came before them. There’s no radical re-arrangement evident or needed, just a killer band revelling in playing a great song.   

Flip it and it’s more Stones circa “Exile”, this time from Portland, Oregon. Fiery five-piece Guerilla Teens rip you a new one. Vocalist Deaf Jeff (aka Scott "Deluxe" Drake, ex-Humpers) hangs on for grim deaf as his veteran band runs through one of the Stones’ finest boogie moments a few miles per hour faster than the original. The Thunderesque guitarwork is icing on this cake. The mark of a good cover is when it leaves you wanting to hear some originals and this ticks the box. 

Buy it

Fake is Forever - The Wreckery (Golden Robot)

Yes, I've heard the Beatles’ new old song. 

No, I didn't know what to expect, and as it turned out I enjoyed it. Loved the piano and John's voice. Naturally, not their best work, and tinged with (insert emotion here) the loss of two of the band's four corners.

Yes, the Internettery is awash with characters pissing on it, for the most part dissing it for not being a light cheery pop song, or not like “the Stones” - whoever they are.

Strange how one expectation can trigger a predictable response, isn't it? “The Beatles song” is certainly aimed more-or-less in the direction the band would have taken, I think, had not that cowardly spit Mark Chapman decided he so much resembled Holden Caulfield that he could get attention LIKE THIS. Disappointed with real life - as so many of us are - Mark Chapman was a weasel who seemed to have been looking for a hook on which to hang his identity/ notoriety hat. I suspect he enjoys being known for that one dreadful, stupid thing.

Sons Of The City Ditch – Pat Todd and The Rankoutsiders (Dog Meat)

Pat Todd and The Rankoutsiders albums are like hernia operations: You don’t know you need one until somebody tells you, and then you can’t do without it. “Sons Of The City Ditch” is the outfit’s seventh long player and is no less desirable than the six that came before it.

You can jump anywhere into the Rankoutsiders discography and you’ll come up smelling like roses, but if you’re popping your cherry you might as well do it with this one. It’s on resurgent Australian label, Dog Meat,who purveyed some prime rock and roll beef back in the ‘80s and ‘90s, and it’s going to be considerably easier to find than the rest of the back catalogue. 

Bonus points: Pat is about to embark on an extensive Australian solo tour so you can ask him to sign a copy. 

Twistin’ With Lord Rochester – Lord Rochester (Off The Hip)

Don’t let the fact that it’s a compilation put you off. This disc is a charmer with its simplicity and evocation of the ghosts of Bo Diddley, Chuck Berry and Lonnie Mack.

Lord Rochester is a trio from Scotland and plays it straight without the slightest hint of irony. Their music is post-skiffle, traditional rock and roll rendered in its purest form. No tricks and just a dash of reverb.

They lay claim to being “Scotland’s best sounding (and best looking) rock and roll show” and certainly have cornered a certain part of the market for their sartorial elegance, with matching tartan suits and cocktail wear. 

You Can’t Polish A Turd - The Monaros  (self released)

Those gentlemen from Warrnambool in rural Victoria are up to no good again, releasing the follow-up album to last year’s classic “Bogan Road”. How to top something that’s perfect?

That’s been the downfall of many a good band:  “Oh I liked your last album better”… “Your next album sucks shit.” Well, The Monaros have done just that. They knew their record sucked shit, but they’ve put some polish on it and they're letting let the shit splatter for your listening pleasure. Earplugs and goggles are not included.